Listening to: Miyavi- Kavuki Boiz

Now unto bussiness, why have I come back when I was so happy with my lovely blog up in eljay? Simple.

I’m an arrogant and pompous braggart this way.

I’m also an arse.

Now what pathetic rambling shall I fit in this piece of internet space? Let’s see… uh, well. Nothing interesting comes into mind as of the moment.

Is anyone interested in reading about my anti-HYDE movement? Well, let’s not bother, because the fact that nobody even knows the man should already be a good enough answer to that question.

Well. Let’s not talk about that, then- and I also have a nice clean reputation that I need to show off to other Laruku fans. Proclaiming a war against the man would just send me a rather embarassing spot in Jrock_wank- with matching Macros to destroy my torture my poor soul.

Okay, then, let’s talk about real issues like… Global Warming.

No?

Okay, then we could start a conversation about Gackt’s new band, SKIN (he has Yoshiki, Sugizo and Miyavi!)

Huh…? You don’t know them either! But how could you! Gackt is one of the definition of living and not knowing Miyavi is like not knowing how to breath!

Okay, calm down.

Hm, do you by any chance know Takanori Nishikawa, aka T.M. Revolution? How about Porno Graffitti? Uh… Gazette? Surely these names should ring a bell! How about Ayumi Hamasaki! Or… or… SMAP! How about LEAD or Arashi… Uh… Winds? MALICE MIZER? GAZETTE? ANTIC CAFE? MEGAMASSO?

This is totally pointless.

Why did I even bother… and I thought having to listen to people ramble on about Hyde was bad.

Hahahahahahaha.

Since I’m fucking sentimental I decided I wanted to come back here. I realized something today, and becuase of that I feel like crying. I don’t know, it’s just that everything was so god damn okay but it had to happen. I can’t believe that Johnny the Homicidal Maniac can be so right… I just can’t fucking believe. I knew it, I should have never left my room. I should’ve never left that place, it hurts so much. It  was so unfair, really unfair and I can’t believe that I just… did it to myself. And now Radiohead is playing in my mind taking it over, repeating the lyrics… ‘You did it to yourself… that’s what really hurts…’

I am such a fucking hypocrite.

I really am.

I don’t believe in anything anymore.

I just don’t want to grow up.

I’m so scared of people now, its like I don’t want to trust anyone anymore. Why is that? I used to eat lunch by bushes and pretend no one was on the other side. And I was so happy because of that. I really was, I know how it feels to be so lonely but still not care what everyone thinks of you. Nobody liked my in first grade, they thought I was insane and would never talk to me. THey wouldn’t even look at me and I thought that was okay. But I had to go Assumption and feel so fucking… happy. I don’t want to have happy for such a period of time. I don’t want that. I’d rather be deprived of something I can never reach so that I wouldn’t have to cry for more of the forbidden fruit.

I fucking hate feeling like this. It’s… weird.

We’re going Hong Kong this Thursday. Yeay. Another hellish trip I suppose, I mean fuck, there is never a trip where we don’t fight over stupid things. And like every otehr Filipinos, we have fucking HEAVY luggages. I hate that part about the whole going of the country thing.

But I don’t mind going out of the country. Makes me happy and shit. But all the fucking mayhem that goes on annoys me so much I jsut wish we don’t go at all. I mean, trips are supposed to be fun and enjoyable… But hell shit it is.

I hope nothing ruins this one.

Frankly, I don’t really care I just like the picture a lot. I don’t know, it just took my effing breath away, I guess. Seems like you can’t use cuss words when making captions. Hm… I wonder why I use such words in the first place, to attract attention? I don’t believe myself to be a speaker of the four letter word of fornication. Or is it I am trying to make another version of me in this cyber reality?

Questions like these make me wonder if really, do I, MYSELF, know who I really am? Do I really want to be an idiot? I don’t want to be the product of a trend. Becuase trends change, and I only want change that can be of use to me. I don’t want change because of the seasons that come and go. Maybe I am just another child of the waves.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

Maybe not.

I love my new layout, simple and sweet but very very adorable. Especially with the two members of Dir en Grey at the back about to do something lovely.

What bought about the change? Well, I noticed a friend of mine pull a lovely yaoi with her profile and it was pretty. Being such a dark person and inspired with the Jrock scene of the moment, I decided to follow the yaoi path and do my own. Very simple, plenty of red here and there. I think its absolutely pretty. Makes me think if Gackt. How I love him right now.

It amuses me so much that most of the people greeted me happy birthday AFTER my brithday.

Hm… I love my pictures, Tetsu, some Japanese guys humping… Oh man, I love it!

Fucking GOD. Fucking G-O-D. I remembered that tomorrow was my ever so once in a year, annual date of birth.

How amazing the flight of time could be so speedy in its take. I wonder how the marking of my sixteenth year on this earth could be that fast. Fucking GOD. FUCKING G-O-D.

I don’t expect gifts, being sixteen, the presents started to decline ever since I was thirteen, don’t expect the rainshowers anymore. Not even on Christmas night, because everyone is too busy loving my brother and sister.

It really sucking to be in the middle.

Fucking G-O-D.

I am so going to look at some gay pictures right now.

Earnest Berlin

MIKA is AMAZING. ALL OF HIS SONGS ARE INCREDIBLE.

Enuff said.

Earnest Berlin